The Redeemed Christian Church of God

Victory House Parish, Festac,

        Lagos Province 3 Headquarters.                       Pst. Austin Ukaiwe    

                 Digging Deep                        Tuesday – November 21, 2017

Topic:             ISSUES OF LIFE (Part 4)

TEXT:              Prov. 4: 20-23



The Family: Roles and Responsibilities.

God is the author of the family and has expectations of each member of the family

Gen 1:26-28, 2:7-8, 2:18,21,22,

We shall start this series of ‘A Family’ with the father. What Kind of A Father are you?

Please the aim is to examine yourself as a father in the context of God’s expectations of you. To yourself, be True.


A father is a male parent.

There are different types and levels of fathers

  1. Biological father
  2. Adoptive father
  3. A man who exercises parental care over others as physical protector or provider.
  4. Spiritual father: offers spiritual direction/protection. 2kings 2:3
  5. Father in heaven, father of all fathers: Abba father.
  1. A father is the head of the family created by God as Christ is Head of church. 1cor 11:3, Eph 6:1-3
  2. A father is the priest of the family. Gen 18:19, with Divine authority to make pronouncements on them. Gen 49:1-2,
  3. A father takes responsibility for whatever goes wrong in the family. Gen 3:9-10, Adam
  4. A father is main provider for the family. 1Tim 5:8
  5. A father has definitive roles to kids and spouse

E.g. Dads Equip Kids For The Real World. LK 1:17

Research shows the result of the “dad deficit”.

Too many kids today are growing up without a father’s input. As a result they end up making poor life, relationship and marriage choices.

So how does a dad equip his kids for life in the real world?

Roles to the children 

Your children deserve certain things like:

  1. Not left over time at the end of the day, but prioritized time. Know what they are up to. Learn who their friends are,

Teach them to stand Tall. A tragedy of their young world is the increasing suicide rate because of playground bullying.

Teach them to stand up for themselves, Teach them respect,

If your life is ruled by a schedule and your children aren’t on it, do something quickly. Otherwise there will come a day that you are not included on their schedule.

You must be “emotionally present” sometimes, that means letting them see your fears and insecurities as they witness your delight and appreciation of them.

  1. There is so much our children can teach us about themselves, about ourselves and about who God is.

Once we realize we don’t have all the answers, we become open to allowing God speak to us through our children. That kind of receptivity strengthens their faith, help them remain teachable.

  1. It’s vital during the formative years to establish rules and maintain boundaries

Children need guidelines and a framework to feel secure in the early years. This include things like having an established bed time, then moving it back as they get older. This helps them understand that age brings freedom, but not all at once because freedom brings responsibility and they are not as ready to handle it as they think

In short, strive to become the firm, gentle parent your child deserves.

Also forgive them and be willing to ask for their forgiveness. By doing this, you are teaching them

  1. That we must all deal with the consequences of our actions, and that when we do so, we grow.
  2. Failing doesn’t make you a failure. It’s just part of learning and maturing. Thomas Edison, KFC Col Sanders.
  3. We should be quick to extend to others the same grace that has so often been extended to us.

Bless them:  Jesus blessed children, Isaac did, Jacob did, Ephraim & Manasseh were blessed.

The principles you live by and the blessings you enjoyed are meant to be passed unto your children & grandchildren.

Whether it’s expressing what’s in your heart or sending a note or e-mail to say you are proud of them. Bless your children at every possible opportunity

Things That Destroy Families: Fathers must WATCH

  1. Gen 4:19-24, Lamech, Gen 2:24
  2. Preferential Treatment. Gen 37:3, coat of many colours

Vs 18-27, brethren planned to kill Joseph.

  1. Adulterous relationships. Lust.1Jn 2:15-17,
  2. Lot gave birth to Moab & Amon. Gen 19:36-38

Which Kind Of Father are You?

  1. A weak father. Compromise discipline.  Eg. David

Spear the rod and spoil the child.

May encourage other kids to do worse things.

David. Amnon raped Tamar. 2sam 13:1-14

David did nothing to Amnon. 2sam 13:21

Absalom avenges his sister 2yrs later. Vs 23-29,

What did David do? Just sad. Vs 30-31,39

2sam 19:1-7, Absalom had audacity to pull a coup against his Dad. Died and David wept sore for the coup plotter. Preferring to die instead of the boy

  1. A workaholic father that was too busy with work, either secular or spiritual, to the detriment of the children’s future destiny.

Samuel. 1sam 7:15-17, 8:1-7, Samuel was so diligent; he forgot to train his children. Sos 1:6, They were rejected by the people of Israel as judge. Pastor kids say they won’t serve his God.

Vs 6 Samuel expressed disappointment at the children and prayed to God who comforted him.

  1. A father whose negligence to recalcitrant children provoked a generational curse. All his children died before him.  1sam 2:30-34, 1Sam 3:11-14,  in vs 18, Unlike Samuel, Eli did not show remorse nor pray, a closed mouth is closed destiny
  1. An over-zealous father. Eccl 7:16

Judges 11:30-31, 34-35, Jephthah’s vow took the life of his only daughter. He also was an only son from a harlot.

  1. A father who struggled to save his children against powers operating from his father’s house.

Gen 11:27-32, Terah the father of Abram suffered delay and calamity. Tried but did not get to his destination before he died.

Thank God who showed up in Gen 12:1-3 for Abram with a seven-fold blessing. It’s your turn!

  1. A father whose misdemeanor attracted evil for his children and grandchild Mephiboshet (one who destroys shame)  2sam 1:23,25-27,2sam 4:4, 2sam 9:1-13

He was remembered for favour, Ziba was a divine helper. He was restored to Jerusalem, ate on the King’s table again. Restored all his inheritance.

  1. A wicked and Selfish father. 2Ki 3:26-27
  1. A father who brought up his child God’s way

Gen 18:19, God Testified concerning his children, that he will Command them to follow the way of the Lord in Truth and Justice.

Today as we celebrate, what will God’s Testimony concerning you as a father be?

See Abba Father in action.  Lk 15:11-24

Compassionate, Loving, Forgiving, ready to fully Forgive and Restore. Allow you celebrate again.

Jn 3:16, God so Loved the World He gave…..

Mt 6:33, seek first the kingdom of God…..

Mt 11:28, come unto me, all that are heavy laden

You must be Born Again. Jn 3:3

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